Ow

This week has been a bit of a wash-out, so far.

I am suffering from some abdominal pain that my doctor told me three weeks ago was probably diverticulitis. We put me on two courses of two different antibiotics over the course of the next two weeks and for a while it seemed as though it worked but the gut pain is back.

The pain is nowhere near as bad as when I had my appendix out or even the level of pain from my gall bladder. On a scale of 1-10, 10 being my appendix, 8 being my gall bladder, and 1 being absolutely no pain, I'd put the spikes of pain at about a 6 with the regular pain at around a 3 or 4. Enough pain to be annoying, with spikes of pain being immobilizing for short periods of time.

This is why I haven't blogged.

It sounds silly, really. Blogging doesn't require much work; I don't really DO anything, except think and write, maybe take a couple of pictures. What's the big deal?

Well, the pain has led to a kind of mental fatigue that I'm only accustomed to equating to my depressive times. I'm not depressed. I'm grumpy, kind of angry at the doctor for not calling me back almost 24 hours after my CT scan to tell me if we need surgery or not, and a little sad that my body seems to be falling apart, but none of that is depression. It's normal. But my brain is fogged.

I hate it.

I like being creative, writing and picture taking and drawing and guitar playing and and and. More more more. But these past few days I've tuned out completely.

I'm trying to tune back in, despite the pain.

Wish me luck.

This rant has been brought to you by the letter "Diverticulitis sucks."